Cho Kyu, Cho Kyu… oh what would I do without you~ But that also begs the question what to do with you, as well. You’ve brought me more happiness than I ever thought possible to endure and more than I ever thought I deserved. And most of the time you do it without even trying. I owe you so much and I only wish that someday I can find the means to actually express to you my gratitude.
Quite a lot has happened since your last birthday. You’ve grown an exceptional amount; mentally, physically, emotionally. Watching you blossom and bloom this past year has been an honor and a privilege. The rate at which your transformation took place within the last year is astounding—you’ve done nearly a 180 degree turn. At around this time last year, you were still starting out on Radio Star, the shy, bashful boy who didn’t really know his place outside of the protection of Super Junior. But you’ve gained so much experience and what you’ve done with it, which many people fail to do, is you’ve learned from it. It’s come to shape you, not change you, just enhance the qualities you already had. And because of your effortless skill in this respect, each and every day is a surprise with you. Every day, you do something even more remarkable than the previous day, and I don’t know how you do it. It takes a lot to hold my interest.. I mean a lot but you’ve managed to do so so effortlessly. And not only have you held my interest for three, going on four, years now, you’ve demanded it. That’s how endlessly interesting and wonderful you are.
When I fell in love with Super Junior almost exactly three years ago, you were the quiet boy that stood at the back of the group and giggled silently, never in the spot light. You were one of the least popular compared to the other members and you had no activities outside those of your group ones. But I’ve been lucky enough be able to be here and watch you try each new experience, push your comfort zone a little further out more and more. Your first musical, your first sub-group outside of Super Junior, your first MC job, your first Immortal Song stage, your graduation, and most importantly: all your new friendships. You had no friends outside of Super Junior and childhood when I joined the fandom; you lamented about it on the radio once and it struck a chord with me, because from what I had understood about you at that point, you didn’t seem like the loner type.
And only time has proven that you’re not. Look at you now, bb, you have more friends and more people that love and support you, look up to you and cherish you than anyone I’ve ever seen. And the best part? You deserve it. Every last ounce of happiness is yours to soak up. I really fret and worry sometimes that some people really do think you to be an actually bratty, rude, inconsiderate boy. It sort of tears me up inside when I come across someone that does. Because you’re the exact opposite. Such an amazing amount of people would not gravitate toward and protect you if you were. Anyone with five braincells can see that you use your snark and silver tongue in a way that lightens the mood and creates a more relaxed atmosphere; your words are never intended to harm, that much is clearer than day. You make everyone around you laugh always, no matter what, and that’s your gift. Everyone who’s ever met you can attest to how easy you are to talk to and how comfortable it is to be around you. You would do anything for your friends, whether it be staying up until the crack of dawn talking to Yesung so he can forget his troubles, or putting your neck on the line to defend Zhou Mi from those who still refuse to see reason. You’re honest and true, always. And I just respect you so much. For speaking your mind but in a way that isn’t offensive in the least. For being honest but gentle when it really comes down to it.
I think one of my absolute favorite things about you is how big of a fanboy you are. Because you get it. You know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of someone you love and admire’s attention and gratitude, no matter how fleeting, and that translates so brightly in everything you do. You bow the lowest, you wave the most enthusiastically, you look in the audience the longest, and I mean really look—you know my favorite thing is when he put your hand above your eyes to shield them from the light so that you can actually see the faces of each audience member. You look, you commit to memory, you care. You’re so unlike any idol or celebrity or person I’ve ever encountered. You always acknowledge those around you. Always. No one is invisible to you, ever. And they say the manner in which one treats his inferiors is a testament to his character…and Cho Kyu, I’ve come to the conclusion that you really are perfect. You care about everyone’s well-being. The fangirl who swarmed you in the parking lot and then proceeded to be trampled by other fans—you stopped. You stopped despite the hurry you were in to make sure she was OK. The boy thrust into a country where he didn’t know the language at all, placed in a group that already existed—you saw yourself in him and you broke through the language barrier with the simple act of feeding him a pork chop. The girl who was insecure about her weight, so nervous about how you might react when she approached you—you pulled her onto your back and walked around the stage with a smile on your face, daring anyone to say anything, telling her over and over again that she had nothing to worry about that she wasn’t heavy at all.
And when a fan gives you her love, you act in a way that makes it seem like the roles are reversed. You’re the giddy, happy one, so excited to receive affection. No one is beneath you in your eyes, even though it would be only too easy to perceive the world in that light from where you’re standing. But you don’t. You never do and I don’t believe you ever will. You know what it’s like to have nothing and you know what it’s like to have everything, and you never lose yourself.
Sometimes, I feel like giving up. On everything and everyone. A few years ago, I was put in a situation where I almost did give up. For good. But you with your angelic voice that could make mountains bow, your bright smile, infinite love and your boundless strength.. they kept me going. I honestly don’t think I could have made it out of that situation had it not been for you. I had nothing, I had no one. But there was you.
You’re a miracle, Kyuhyun. Has anyone ever told you that? I can’t die before I tell you that in person. You need to understand it. Everything about you is miraculous and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly fathom your existence. I had always been under the impression that God doesn’t give with two hands, but it seems he and all his kingdom gave you everything they had.
Thank you. For everything. For existing. For being a respectful and loving son and brother. For being a loyal and honest friend. For pursuing your dreams and giving us your voice. The world would be such a dark place without it. Why am I crying, haha. I’m all waterworks.
I love you, Kyuhyun. I love your quirks, your talents and your faults
what faults? I love the way you hold things between your fingers rather than wrapped in the palm of you hand, I love the way you close your eyes when you sing, I love the way you act like your disinterested and tired one minute and then immediately perk up the next. I love the range of emotion and expression that plays across your face whenever you have to be the center of attention. I love the way your eyes light up when you come to a realization, especially when it’s when you’ve figured something out before anyone else but just want to hold on to your secret for awhile before you can gloat. I love that you are a dork to your very core but look like a rockstar and sing like an angel. I love your unconventional interests and the pride you take in them.
I love you, Kyuhyun. Just for being you. As much of a cliché as that is..I think that cliché was created in light of your existence, though, so it’s ok. ^^;
And without any further ado, happy birthday, baby. ♥ I wish you all the good fortune in the world.